Oh well...

Earlier this month I called her to make sure the date of Clay's baptism would work for her and the rest of her family.

She didn't pick up. Of course. 9.5 times out of 10 she doesn't if I call... {but if Brian calls...she probably will pick up even though, no offense, honey, but I'm the one who knows scheduling and arranges daily life! It's very frustrating and has hurt Clay's feelings a million times they they ignore his attempts to reach him and never call back.}

Anyway...

I left a detailed message about the baptismal date and the option to do it a different day and also included information about a back to school night coming up. {New school. Charter school. We're all excited about it! More info to come}

She never called me back. I didn't really expect her to.

Then her sweet parents come over to give Clay a birthday present. We visit for a while. I like and respect them a lot. I even invite one of them to give the opening prayer at the baptism because I really want them to be included, not just invited. However, the actual response I got when I told them about the baptismal date was, "Oh, I didn't know Clay was getting baptized. I knew he was old enough to, I just didn't know he was."

Really? Obvious observation:

• She didn't care one bit to even tell her parents Clay was getting baptized.
• She probably wouldn't answer the phone when her mother calls her either {I know this is true in the past because her mother called me to see if she even still had the correct phone number she hadn't talked to her in so long} and hence the call to me to see who had Clay and if they could come see him.
  
• Clay is never taken to see them. From what he says, it appears he sees his mother's side maybe twice a year.

Then I realize that they have another grandchild's baptism the very same day at least an hour in the opposite direction. Only one of them can make it and probably none of the rest of her family. Further observation:

• She did not invite anyone in her family to come because she would've realized her niece's baptism overlapped that day.

We could have changed the date! I feel awful, but obviously she doesn't care, so why should I? Why do I want to include them? Is it because I feel it is the right thing to do? Or do I think it will make me look like a good stepmother because I want to include them? Honestly, MORE the first, but probably both.

It's her week to have him and the baptism is Saturday. He needs to be at the church 30 minutes early. He'll probably be 15 minutes late.

SO, ME... How can I change my attitude to be positive and respectful? I suppose I can choose to not care that she doesn't want close relationship with her family right now and be grateful that my family is so close knit not to mention the fact that I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws. I can try to believe that my best efforts will be enough and I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I am the bests stepmother I can be given my emotional boundaries. It's ok if it's not the huge party I wanted to celebrate with Clay. Our side is enough, right? Our side is great! He will know how much we care about him.

Ok. It's all good.